Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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