i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
