so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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