her vagine was all disorganized.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
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Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
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All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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