this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize