GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
