Fuck appropriateness.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
