His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just invented taco cereal.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
