i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
