I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Say something about gay babies.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
