All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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