Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
