K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
