Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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