To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
too bad you live with your parents still
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
