He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Randomize
