I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
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you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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