His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Pants are for mortals
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
