Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
