So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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