is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
