she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
