Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
