Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
