Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
