"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
