i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
