I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
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I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
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For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY