Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!