I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like death gave me a hand job
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With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
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if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.