these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.