So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though