its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
