Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just come out here and I will go home with you...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
