we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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