Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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