So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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