after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
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I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
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The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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