she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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