I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
