wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
