dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Randomize
