it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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