I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
