in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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