she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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