I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
