I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
