I faked an abortion last night.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
