"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
