I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
