I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
