Define "chronic" masturbator.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
