all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
