i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
