I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
