We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
