i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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