She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
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Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
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I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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