Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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